I have an aunt, bless her, who might be the worst hugger since the dawn of time! Perhaps that's a bit of an overstatement, but it might not be! I may be willing to concede that "dawn of time" could be a slight stretch, but I'm pretty confident that she is the worst hugger since the discovery of fire-making, at least.
Or the invention of the wheel!!
Hugs are obligatory greetings at my mom's family gatherings. In a family whose skills are more in the areas of gardening, quilt and biscuit making, canning, judging, criticizing and being nasty - rather than in areas like warmth and affection - getting through the gantlet of hugs can be a bit of a chore.
This particular aunt, however, seems to have neither talent nor interest in the art of hugging. Her technique seems to be guided by a philosophy that hugs should be accomplished with as little actual bodily contact as the laws of physics will allow. A dictionary definition would mandate the arms encircling the one being hugged - and this occurs! - but her arms don't actually make contact with the victim's body. Just the pointed touch of fingertips briefly on the back let one know that one is being involved in a sham and mockery of all things Hug!
I dislike receiving these "hugs" from this particular aunt, filled as they are with distaste and borderline contempt, almost as much as she dislikes giving them. If this Ebenezera Scrooge were to receive any bit of justice, she would be visited this next Christmas by three ghost to show her the grave errors of her hugging ways.
In stark contrast would be my three nieces - 10, 8 and 6 years old - who are visiting this week from north California. They take hugs and cuddling as a given. It's as effortless as breathing to them and a source of simple comfort like a warm jacket and a mug of hot chocolate on a cold day.
Given these two approaches, I'm definitely on Team Niece!
As another example, last week I did a camera gig for two days at Epcot's World Showplace. I hadn't worked at Epcot in a while and was glad to see friends I hadn't seen in a while. Among them was the dear Kristen, a self-admitted "hug-whore". She is, in my estimation, an absolute connoisseur of hugs. She hugs with all her heart and from the depths of her soul. When you get a Kristen hug, you know that you have been good and hugged!
Apparently, she thinks I'm pretty decent myself because she told me once that I am one of the best huggers on Disney property. That was seriously high praise, considering the source! That's like James Beard telling you your dinner was amazing! That's like Miles Davis saying that your trumpet playing is really cool! That's like Stephen King telling you that you're scary!!
Hugs, at least good ones, live on a sliding scale from friendly to intimate. One-armed, off to the side hugs are friendly and easy. Friendly hugs, even the two-armed variety, are usually high up on the body (shoulders and neck). The more intimate the hug, the lower down the body the arms go (middle and lower back). At least, that's my theory.
Generally speaking, I think that, like kissing, hugging has an almost infinite variety of things that it can communicate. Some, like my aunt, approach hugs as a nasty but necessary task to perform, not unlike lancing a boil. Others, like my nieces, see hugs as an integral part of life, like breakfast and cartoons. And others, like Kristen, express sweetness and affection through hugs with people she really cares about.
Anyhoo, that's what I think about all that.
Anybody need a hug??? :)
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